oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
