Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
