Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can't put those talents on a resume
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
