Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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