Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My ATM looks so different sober.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
