And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
