it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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