genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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