Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
