I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
