dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
