Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
