They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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