While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
