no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
