How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
