just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
