1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
only you would photoshop your dick
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
