Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
that is very illegal...i love you.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
