This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
