please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
