Apparently you make a good broom.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
wow bdsm is so cute
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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