My hair reeks of homosexuality.
This house was built for laser tag.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
