When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
