she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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