Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
