Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
