question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
my shit smells like andre
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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