If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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