Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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