I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
