True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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