I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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