I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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