some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
