When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's never too late to be topless.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
