Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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