I feel like I'm in dance class right now
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
