They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
