it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
wow bdsm is so cute
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
