Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
