The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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