I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
