He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
