Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
