I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
