I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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