I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
