So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
