So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
