mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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