But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
