She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
