If that was your dad, he is hot
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
