i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
