I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
