Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
