It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
