i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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