I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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