It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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