Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
